


Strong, inspirational and practical

by LittleSpider



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Finger Sucking, Kingsman: The Golden Circle Spoilers, No Tilde hate please, Oral Fingering, Tilde behaves rationally, Tilde gets a believable character progression, Tilde gets character, Tilde is a strong woman, Tilwin, What Could Have Been, is that even a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 19:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12305937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpider/pseuds/LittleSpider
Summary: Eggsy has to sleep with the target, or does he?What happens when we take Tilde from Kingsman: The Secret Service, and put her in THAT situation on facetime with Kingsman: The Golden Circle?Bonus! A more realistic reason for Tilde's situation at the end of the film.





	Strong, inspirational and practical

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I am a Hartwin shipper. It is my OTP. But I'm also a realist and we were never gonna get anything other than homoerotic subtext that was subtle as hell.  
> If I can't have Eggsy and Harry, you are not going to cheat me out of a strong female character that could have been so much more than something to create drama.

"Hey!”

Tilde smiled her face lighting up as she gazed at her cell phone.

Eggsy had called right in the middle of his mission.

She loved it when he did this. It set her mind at ease knowing that he was okay, and judging by the look of it, he was in the VIP area. She knew he was in Glastonbury pursuing a lead or something.

"Hi!" she beamed.

"Hey babe...” he began looking a little strained. “...Got a bit of a save the world situation....”

Tilde's smile faded a little. Trouble. She braced herself.

“Gotta sleep with the target. But I won't do it unless you agree that it's alright.”

Tilde's mouth dropped open.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!" she exclaimed, the dog at her side whimpered in surprise at her shrill tone.

"Babe, surely it's better that I'm telling you rather than me doing it and not telling you.”

Tilde couldn't believe this.

Yeah, she had an idea this might happen, hell, she's seen the _Bond_ movies, her father was a big fan. But Christ, in this day and age? Did spy's just _fuck_ their way out of bad situations?

“Can't you just chloroform her and take what you need.” Tilde suggested wildly.

Eggsy stammered, looking even more unsure.

 _Shit_ , he was really not happy about this, was he?

Tilde took a deep breath, and decided to try and be reasonable about this. Approaching it with the same level head she had gone head to head with _Landström_ on the anti-immigration policy.

"...Eggsy,.” she began calmly, her eyes closed before looking to the screen again. “Talk me through his babe. What do you have to do?"

Eggsy considered not saying, seeing as it was technically a breach of security, but given Kingsman was currently defunct, and he wasn't a Statesman, he didn't see an alternative other than conceding defeat to Jack.

"...Well.” He began. “There's this like lil condom but for your finger? And it's got a tracker on the end of it...and the tracker needs to go through a membrane...and..."

He made an awkward sort of gesture.

Tilde grunted and rolled her eyes.

"I need to have a serious talk with your R&D department when you get home. Who even thinks this shit up. Christ.”

Eggsy's eyes closed, now that he had Tilde on side, he felt more comfortable.

"Babe. I agree. Seriously. The target is into some well weird shit.” He leaned closer. “She said I could piss on her."

"What?" Tilde asked softly turning back to the camera.

"I didn't do it. _Fuck_. What do you take me for babe?”

"...Eggsy.” Tilde began. “I think I have a plan, but it's kinda weird."

"As long as I don't have to sleep with her, I'm up for it.”

 

Eggsy flushed the toilet and slipped the finger cot onto his finger before walking back through the beaded curtain that led to her room.

“Finally.” Clara began silkily, dressed in a satin red robe and her Wellington boots. “I was beginning to think you'd had second thoughts.”

“About you?” he grinned. “...Never.”

He walked over and taking her chin in his hand, he tilted her head.

“Open your mouth...” he ordered with a grin.

“Why?” she asked coquettishly.

“Wanna make sure you can fit me in there...”

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth invitingly just as Eggsy slipped his index and middle fingers into her mouth, sweeping erotically.

She moaned.

' _Fucking beautiful_ ' Eggsy praised in his mind, thinking of Tilde and her quick thinking and how it had saved his arse and probably their relationship.

He pressed against the inside of her cheek.

“...Oh _yes_...” he coaxed as he watched the finger cot dissolve on his finger, her saliva melting it, and her cheek drawing the tracker into the membrane. “You can take me.”

She opened her eyes and sucked on his fingers with a soft giggle.

Eggsy withdrew them and grinned, nodding.

“Stay here. I'm gonna run to the bar and get some syrups.”

Clara giggled and crawled onto the bed.

“Don't be long River. I'm hungry.”

 

"Babe, it's me. It worked. You're a fucking genius!” he beamed as he walked away from the VIP area, leaving the target behind, and the tracker active.

"I know I am." Tilde beamed, as she brushed her hair and clipped it up at the back.

"Fancy becoming a Kingsman when we rebuild?” Eggsy smirked. “I need to pick a candidate, and I think you've got potential."

"No. I think being a Princess is less hassle.” She replied breezily, checked her wristwatch. “And on that note. I have to fly home. Mama and Papa asked that I sit with parliament. They're losing their minds over this whole blue rash thing. It's mostly affecting our younger population and they want my insight.”

"Don't work too hard, babe." Eggsy grinned.

"Nope. I'll leave that to you.”

With that, she ended the call and fished in her bag for a metal case, taking it out she popped one of the pills out and swallowed it.

Not exactly legal, but she needed the lift.

Unbeknownst to her, her source had bought them from a bald chap in a blue suit called Charles.

 

 


End file.
